Challenges Faced By New Mothers in India

If you were to imagine a regular day in a normal household, what would you describe it as? A mother waking up her children, and packing up their lunch boxes for school, while simultaneously helping her husband get ready for office. Raise your hands, if this or something similar was a scenario you had imagined. Why do we always expect a woman to take up responsibility for an entire household? And why do you think a woman always is on a quest to be a ‘Good Mother’?

The expectation that motherhood is supposed to be the best thing to happen to a woman and that they are supposed to relish each moment of motherhood builds unspoken pressure for a mother to become an ideal mother. The feeling of not being able to do enough for their babies stems from the societal pressure and media narratives that they are being fed.

While there’s an increase in the number of fathers getting involved in household chores, it’s important to also highlight the real challenges faced by new mothers in India

Mothers always feel judged

Home has always been perceived as a mother’s domain, whether it involves organizing a playdate or sneaking vegetables into the children’s lunch. Mothers always seem to be on their toes, constantly juggling tasks. ‘Her father dressed her like this’ is considered humorous but ‘Her mother dressed her like this’ implies judgment. This perception stems from traditional and cultural norms that dictate specific roles and behaviours for mothers.

Mothers are more stressed than fathers

According to a study, 33% of mothers are more likely than fathers to admit that being a parent is stressful. While both parents enjoy spending time with their children, managing children appears to cause more strain on mothers. This is likely because mothers tend to spend more time with their kids, engaging in strenuous chores such as cooking, cleaning, managing schedules, and childcare, whereas fathers typically engage in low-stress and rejuvenating activities like homework, playing and leisure

They lose touch with their friends post-pregnancy

According to a survey conducted by the Action for Children organization, 68% of new parents felt isolated from friends, family, and colleagues after childbirth. Early parenthood can be challenging for new mothers, as four out of ten women experience loneliness during the postpartum period.

The data above paints a clear picture: Changes in friendships after childbirth can be challenging for both mothers and fathers, but learning how to cope with them can make all the difference. While some of your friendships may thrive and grow as your child grows, others might not withstand the test of time. Regardless of what prompts these changes, there are things new parents can do to make the transition a little easier:

• Accept that quality time will look a little different
• Nurture the existing relationships
• Be open to making new friends

Lack of support

One of the fundamental reasons why mothers drop out of the workplace is the lack of support from their husbands, in-laws, and relatives. This means that most mothers or women who commit to pursuing their careers also have to put in extra hours at home with little to no support from other family members.

Discrimination at workplace

According to a report– approximately 63% of working women report experiencing discrimination at work due to familial and household responsibilities, while the figure rises to 69% among working mothers. Contributing extra hours to work, and reaching home late would make her a bad mother. Such judgements can discourage a working mom from second-guessing her career options and eventually leaving her no options but to quit.

Postpartum Depression

In India, about 22% of mothers suffer from postpartum depression. However, new mothers sometimes misunderstand postpartum depression as baby blues. Baby blues are when you feel sadness, cry for no apparent reason, and feel anxious. The condition could begin in the first week after delivery and it generally subsides within two to three weeks without treatment.

Postpartum Depression, on the other hand, is a far more serious condition that affects 1 in 7 new parents. Here are several symptoms that a mother may experience if she is suffering from PPD:

• Experiencing alternating highs and lows
• Frequent crying
• Irritability and fatigue
• Feelings of guilt
• Anxiety
• Inability to care for her baby or herself
• Replaying her birth experience over and over again in her mind

Having the right support can make a significant difference, and joining online communities can provide a platform to express these complex emotions. While being a mother is undoubtedly one of life's greatest experiences, it's important not to forget to live a little amidst the demands of motherhood.